Terms I Don't Get

(I've had a lot of time in my hands recently. Which means I should actually be busy with actual and important concerns, and I'm here, blogging. I'm a very ironic person.)

Title says all. "Terms I Don't Get." Let's cut to the chase and go to the bulleted list now, shall we? Yes? I'm glad you agree with me. :3

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Wait, you just want me to stay here and continue typing? :O But I thought you said you wanted me to cut to the chase. What's that? I'm making up conversations with you in my head? And I'm currently talking to a very confused reader? Well, that's no way to say hello. :I But meh, I'm gonna go ahead anyway. Whether you like it or not.

• Flavored lip balm

Okay, I'm a makeup person. I admit it. I love makeup. I mean, my mom won't allow me to wear makeup until I'm sixteen, but I've been reading about it since I was six. I know more about makeup than you probably do. (But, then again, seeing that you're probably less than sixteen years old and are most likely "one of the guys", I bet you don't even know the basics.) But there is only one piece of "makeup" my mom allows me to use. Lip balm.

I'm pretty sure people have told you that that watermelon stick of wax was "watermelon-flavored". Or that new tube of lip-moistening, sticky brown goodness (wow, that came out wrong .____.) was "chocolate-flavored". I learned the hard way that these lip balms aren't flavored, they're scented. I was a victim. I'd lick my goop-covered lips, hoping to taste strawberry, and taste wax. Time and time again. (I was stubborn then, okay? D: )

LIES. ALL LIES. D:< YOU SMELL STRAWBERRY, NOT TASTE IT.

I have no idea why lip balm companies won't just get out with it and say cherry-scented lip balm or lemon-scented lip balm. Otherwise, some poor six-year-old girl out there would be licking her lips, hoping to taste peppermint, and instead get a tongue full of wax. T_T

• College

Now, this seems totally fine, but for you to understand, let me tell you about my cousin Nikka. (I mentioned her, didn't I? Yes? Me cousin? Me lovely lady relative? o_o) She goes to a school called St. Paul College. And she's in elementary. (Technically high school XD.) Flippin. Elementary. (Technically high school I mean. XD)

Why the Gormiti would people name schools a college if they're, like, elementary or high school? If that's the case then, why don't we all just go around naming colleges preschools. Yeah! University Preschool London. University of Santo Tomas Preschool. Harvard University Preschool.

If you're gonna name a school, name it as it is. If it's elementary, name it Derp Derpington Elementary. If it's middle school, name it Derp Derpington Middle School. If it's high school, name it Derp Derpington High. It makes no sense to me to name it Derp Derpington College and accept grade-schoolers. -.-

• Vice President

If a class president is the president of the class, what is a vice president president of?

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Vice President. OH. I GET IT NOW. Dagnabbit, sometimes my own brain is slow in keeping up with itself. Sounds wrong? Haven't I told you I'm an ironic and forever alone child?

• Hipster

You know, technically "hipster" is a style of pants. o_o Go look it up. I thought it was the kind of pants them people interested in typewriters wore.

Sooo I know what a hipster is, but I don't know why they call them hipsters. Is it 'cause of the pants they wear? You can't judge a person by their pants. :I Their looks, maybe, BUT NOT THEIR PANTS. D:< 

Hmm? You should care about their pants, you say? Like when they're not wearing any, you say? You're not saying anything, you say? I'm making up another conversation in my head, you say? But...but I wear hipster pants. My jeans usually just hit up to my hip.

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OH MY GLOB AASDFGHJKL THE HIPSTERNESS HAS CAUGHT UP TO ME DSHIJHERRHTRTHRIN TELL MY CAT TO CLEAN HIS LITTERBOX WHEN I'M GONE FROM THIS WORLD RG85H89-548-945 M8-9 AND BY CAT I MEAN BROTHER 9EW9 9-  8-95YQ3 8-95Y 8--00LP'/\]

[Transmission lost]

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*crackle*

[Please insert one dollar in pants to continue. Peace out.]